Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I'm done with this. Done with you. Done

The Texas Sky is the biggest one I've seen
But it still ain't big enough for you and me
All the things that make you mad, and
All the baggage in your past
Don't leave much room for a girl like me to be
So I'll fill her up with hope and worn-out dreams

Mo Anamcara

Mo Anam cara

In Celtic- Mo Anam cara, is Irish for 'my soul friend.'
In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship.

*This deeply felt bond with another person means you have found your anam cara, or "Soul Friend."


1. They speak the language of the heart

Your soul friend is always an invitation to the highest good that is within you. They invite your wildest creative imagination to be in free flow. This is an invitation to deeply trust who you are.


2. They invite you to fall in love

Your mo anamcara might become the one you marry. Or might not be the one you marry. But they most certainly invite you to the real marriage, which is the marriage of the feminine and masculine within you. They invite union with all those disowned aspects of yourself that you have judged and turned away from the wedding feast that is your creative life's flow.


3. They are in love with who they are

Your mo anamcara loves the way that life expresses through them. They express their purpose. They allow the force of love that created them to use them for its own purposes. They feel a profound sense of abundance and give themselves away as love in action.


4. They invite you into going beyond the 'do do' in life

The mo anamcara does not measure you or judge you by what you have or do not have. They know that the truth of the universe is that we are all one. They 'do' life as love in action, which comes through the flow of their essential self. They work but they do not 'make a living' other than to express the joy of creation. They let the beauty that they are become what they do.


5. They radiate presence

Your mo anamcara is present to the moment. They do not think in the same way as you do. They live from presence and this is more than enough. They listen to the wisdom voice within that is unique to them. They are their own authority. Their will is their willingness to serve Love.


6. They may be hard to live with.

A mo anamcara invites the radiance of your soul to shine. They are not there to deepen your connection to your ego. They are, in fact, sane. They do what a sane person does. They live for the highest good of all. They will invite you to come into the light when you want to hide in the cave of your limited persona. This may feel difficult sometimes, even impossible to be with at such close quarters.


Become your own deepest heart friend. When you begin to connect with your soul then you have something that cannot be taken away from you. You begin to relax into the radiance of who you truly are. You are free and sane. You have become a friend to your soul. You and your mo anamcara.


Religious quote for the day

"...The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway." ~Mother Teresa

New songs :)

Impossible -Anberlin
Say you'll haunt me -Stone sour
Living in a dream -Finger eleven
Shut the door -Monster in the machine

Lyrics of the day

I wanna fly,
I wanna drive,
I wanna go
I wanna be apart of something I don't know
And if you try to hold me back I might explode

Monday, November 29, 2010

~Reckless Intent~

Here I stand before myself
I see something's out of place
You tasted all my purity
Now there's nothing left to waste
The feeling gets so in my way
It's getting lost in my delivery . . . . .

And you sold me up the river again
(I don't wanna be alone again)
And you made me start it over again
And you moved me, and you soothed me, and you fought me
and you left me wondering what the hell?

Lyrics for the mood

I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart
Have a Great Day!

Thanksgiving Holiday

11/25/10 Had thanksgiving with the Eastburn's. Wonderful and yummy as always! Woke up at 11 and headed to Nichole's to cook the potatoes and green bean casserole. Met Nichole's cousin Lianna and her boyfriend Mike. Man they are a hoot! Brian thought mike was an MMA fighter b/c Nichole led us on. Turns out he is a beer drinking champ. Had lots of fun playing board games and drank way to much. Stayed the night at Bud and Karen's….terrible night sleep. Bed sucked.

11/26/10 Friday woke up at 8:45 to go to breakfast w/ the gang. Such a bad night sleep on top of hangover =grumpy Erin. ☹ Breakfast was at Poor Richard's Café and it was delish. Went to the motorcycle shop w/ the boys and then back to the casa for some rest. Had pizza for dinner and watched some football. Went home to my bed and slept like a champ! 

11/27/10 Saturday we left at 11 to meet the gang at Twisted Root in Richardson and I had the best blue cheese burger. Orgasmic. Lol. Super good root beer-cherry almond flavor –yum. Played around at the army/navy store and bought a desert camo shirt. Went shopping w/ nichole and liana in downtown plano and picked up a cut new necklace! Super cute. Had way to much food again at dinner. Lots of ribs, brisket and beer can chicken. Lots of wine too ☺ Celebrated Karen's 51st birthday and had some delicious strawberry cake that Nichole made. I gave Karen my gift of earrings from Pier 1. Headed home about midnight and got home at 1am. Unfortunately the great day/night ended w/ a huge fight b/w Brian and I on the car ride home. Brian ended up sleeping in the other room, mostly b/c I locked him out of the bedroom. Sniffle, I hate hurt feelings. 

11/28/10 Sunday was dismal. I slept in, not. Woke up at 9. wth? Brian of course acted like nothing was wrong, as usual. I swear he goes to sleep and forgets everything. Maybe I envy him..i sure wish I could go to sleep and forget my worries and anger and start the day brand new. Me being me I continued the silent treatment. I ran some errands on my own then picked up Brian for the rest. Moved pas the argument, (sort of) more like I just gave up being angry. Nothing's ever really resolved. He never addresses the real issues. He's so content to just avoid everything. Sigh. Bought all the harry potter movies so that I could catch up b/4 watching the newest flick. Became terribly ill later in the evening, massive back pain and terrible nausea. Thankfully had some meds left over the eased the nausea and put me to sleep. Not until 1 though. I was dreading the am b/c I had to be at work at 7am. 

11/29/10 This morning wasn't as terrible as I though. Weird to be up when it's still dark, but thankfully I had prepped a lot last night so I had coffee and a lunch ready. Other than the day dragging ass it hasn't been too bad. Steady work flow and no more back/stomach pains. What the hell was that shit about. Oh well, hope it doesn't come back.
Have a Great Day!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Lyrics for today

you settle down for the things you like..?
i'm a girl who can take the lead
but i'm still the fall back type
i'll give you what you need
even though i can't explain how i do the damn thang
i can show you tonight
that I i'll do it better than her
Have a Great Day!

Days before thanksgiving :)

Had a wonderful breakfast made for me by Brian, pretty sure he was trying to kiss ass from last night's debacle. Oh well, I'm not going to refuse brain food in the AM. Tuesday was quite uneventful at work, but I'll take some peace and quiet every now and then. Had a lunch made for me by B ☺ then a meeting at 2p to finalize women's network agenda for the end of the year. These employee resource groups can be exhausting, fulfilling, but exhausting. Everyone wants to be a part, but no one wants to volunteer their time. Sigh. Scooted out the door sharply at 4:30 and ran some errands. Received a beautiful handwritten letter from my dad with a check!! I love that my dad took the time to write me and send me money for no reason. Got to love parents. They rock –well at least mine. 

Cars been running on E for the last 2 days, but thankfully work and home are quite close. Finally got gas and planned to meet my bestie Jenny tonight. 

Brought her my swiffers, which she had asked for as a xmas present lol. That girl is funny. Got to catch up on not needed but very addictive FB games ☺. I love spending time w/ her. She feed me (like always) leftovers from sat friendsgiving dinner, yum. Had to scoot out fairly early so I can get my butt in bed at a decent time. Boo work. 

Managed to catch some B time b/4 bed was really DTS, but no time! Grr.

Wed- slept amazing last night!! Woke up all kinds of crazy. Currently sipping tea and updating my blog, at work. Today's going by pretty slow, but I'm just happy knowing that I have a 4 day weekend ahead of me. I usually work the fri after thanksgiving but decided I deserved it off this year ☺
Have a Great Day!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Let me live

Well I'm not a trick you play,
I'm wired a different way
I'm not a mistake,
I'm not a fake,
It's set in my DNA
Don't change me
Have a Great Day!

Monday, November 22, 2010

where do I fit...

And where am I supposed to fit in the picture? And how did I FIT so perfectly into it in the beginning? And why is finding that same amount of time we once had so impossible now?
Have a Great Day!

Lyrics for the day

Well, maybe you're not right for me
Maybe this is hard to see
I get lost in your beauty
And I just stop questioning
Cause when you took my heart
You took it all
When you gave it back
It fell apart
Have a Great Day!

misadventures of me and some food for thought

forgot my badge this morning and so trying to get into work was like trying to get into fort knox...fine mr security man, don't let me in, I'll go back home and go to bed. finally let in :/ note to self: stop changing purses.

monday funday

well this morning started w/ chaos. i over slept my alarm and woke up at 7:50 only to try and make it to work by 8am. broke the world record of getting dressed and managed to skip out the door w/ coffee and my pot luck dish (which i failed to mention that i made sun night when i got home from plano) i got mad skills..too bad i was still 12 minutes late, but i gotta say that pretty damn good. i love my boss, he just smiled at me as i was running up the stairs and said have a good day.

was suprisingly rested and ready to work. got a lot accomplished, well at least until 11am when i started to day dream. been doing that a lot lately. what's wrong w/ me..or am i becoming intuned w/ life...or am i just really bored out of my mind...hmmm

had a delish potluck at 1pm and enjoyed catching up w/ coworkers. 30 min flew by and it was back to work i go. there comes a point during the day though where nothing else is going to get done and i had reached that point at 12:30, sigh. having a full tummy didn't help either. lol.

came home to a fight about legal stuff and was not ready to address. brian had dinner made and that helped though. if he doesn't watch out though i'm going to expect him to cook all the time. i wonder if out distance is what is hurting our relationship or just the 2 main characters involved.

found i was w/o internet so i headed to starbucks for some tea and free wifi where i finally updated my blog. this has become more of a rambling blog then inspirational or funny..it's actually verging on sad, btu oh well. maybe i'll just think of it as my online diary/journal. shit ain't always going to be peachy. word

brain fart

so i can't even remember what i did on friday except work and miss a dr appt. sad, huh? maybe this blog will be the only thing that helps me remember my life since my short term memory has apparently failed me. only monumental things are retained.

i slept in on saturday and then rushed over to help jenn w/ her friends' thanksgiving dinner. later that evening w/ friends, food and games i would call the night a success. i always have so much fun at the Eisenhardt's and i'm not even drinking. fancy that. didn't make it home until 1am on sunday.

besides the great times at friends there seems to be lots of turmoil at home. everyday seems like a fight and we don't even see each other that much. maybe 48 hrs tops w/i a week. i'm drained. don't know how to fix anything. :( i know i'm not the best fiance, but damn this ish is hard. can't imagine being married at this point. to avoid more confrontation i went straight to bed and locked the door.

woke up sun morning to breakfast made :) ...ya think someone was trying to kiss ass?? i do. while the meal was nice it doesn't make up for the problems. you can't band aid everything.

sunday was full of football and outdoors. thankfully the weather was fabulous! watched Brian play football w/ the Dallas Defenders while i painted my nails and read my Kat Von D book. multi tasker = me. after foot ball we headed to Plano to hand w/ Jeff and Nichole. Nichole made a delicious dinner of left overs :) now full, we began the hour treak home. exhausted from the weekend i was all to eager to hit the hay.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

t.v. shows i wanted to watch but never got around to

The Sopranos
The Wire
Curb your Enthusiasm

some helpful and fun websites


Loan Calculator



some quotes

Music. Such a fascinating phenomenon: certain songs trigger childhood memories, recollections of old loves, past experiences, and feelings. Some songs, when heard, can evoke a certain taste in your mouth. Kvd

There's nothing more frightening then ignorance in action -goethe

Living means learning and teaching all at once.

You're not that bad... I'm just that awesome

such beauty in words

“I hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people: that each protects the solitude of the other”

“Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, she would never have been able to find these words.”

 Being the solution instead of the problem is the name of the game

misadventures of me and food for thought

Wed is becoming one of my fav days! Love the experiences that take place when you truly let go and give in.

Thurs -forgot my badge this morning and so trying to get into work was like trying to get into fort knox...fine mr security man, don't let me in, I'll go back home and go to bed. finally let in :/ note to self: stop changing purses. rest of the day went by fairly quickly. went to my chiropractor after work then home. Now i'm finally logging into the web version of this blog for the first time since inception and i'm loving playing w/ the gadgets and settings. Had quite a few lyrics and/or quotes floating through the noodle the last few days and wanted to make sure i write them down so i don't forget them.

Everyday that I'm with you, I'll wear your favor-ite perfume. And on the days I am without, I'll wear only my tears, and pout. - gagaloo (lady gaga)

true understanding is found through compassion (christian quote)

When I saw others straining toward God, I did not understand it, for though I may have had him less than they did, there was no one blocking the way between him and me, and I could reach his heart easily. It is up to him, after all, to have us, our part consists of almost solely in letting him grasp us.” Rainer Maria Rilke

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

how i feel today

If there was a question about my intentions,I'll tell ya I'm not here to sell ya Or tell you to go to hell(I'm not a brat like that)I'm like a puzzle but all of my pieces are jagged -mc

once again a wknd recap

Went to bed late AGAIN on Fri night...was up at 7:30 on Sat morning. Rushing to get my butt out the door. Went to the Monserrat Jesuit Retreat House in Lake Dallas for marriage prep class. Talk about breath taking... Had class from 9-5 and thoroughly enjoyed it! Learned some very interesting things and met some great couples. Even better is that I realized I still had a lot of growing to do as an individual before I could commit myself freely.
Best take aways from today:
¤preach the gospel at all times; if necessary use words
¤you have to love yourself first before you can give your love to someone else
Later that evening Brian and I met up with Charmyn at Agave Azul in Carrollton for Amber's 28th Birthday! Had lots of fun but scooted out early to head to Denton to see Joe and Theresa's baby boy Hunter Lewis :) Babies rock! We headed home with the intention of relaxing, but we were both so tired we hit the mattress right away.

Sunday I got to sleep in finally! Well till about 9. Did some chores -boo, then packed it up and headed to Brian's football practice at 2:30 in Frisco. Instead of watching this time I headed to Collin Creek mall to shop :). Well really I just made a xmas/general wish list. Left about 5pm and realized I had commited to meet my friend Jenny for shopping so I dropped Brian off and quickly headed to Hurst. Spent waaay to much $$ then headed home for dinner.

Mon came way to quick! Tough to wake up b/c of rain. Maybe its b/c I'm always running around the wknd flys by. Work progressed as normal with minimal amount of work being done. Headed home @ 4:30and ran errands w/ Brian. Got home at a decent time and wrapped presents while watching the movie Valentine. Cute story ;) off to bed by myself as usual...ready for some shut eye.

Tues was interesting @ work. Personal thoughts on the brain, but also quite busy with the new information regarding the shift in corporate structure. Lots of work to sever our ties w/ chrysler motors and renovate our IT system. Also this mess requires me to dread to last wk of Nov. 10 hrs days and wknd work ahead along w/ training. We had a health fair where I got a massage and scheduled a chiropractor appt for thurs. Rcvd the annual benefits email. Its that time again to enroll :/ left @ 4:30 and took Ryder to the dog in Trophy Club...so pretty and nice. I was able to wear Ryder out then head home in darkness. Man that still throws me off. Did some online shopping (Lucked out and got free shipping at Amazon.com) and cleaned while doing laundry. I'm such an awesome multi-tasker. Made plans to see a friend tomorrow which made me happy! Stayed up way too late, had some small talk with Brian then headed to bed.

Friday, November 12, 2010

brrr its getting cold outside

Wed- was the icing on the cake. Best 'hump' day I've had in a looong time ;) definitely helped get me through the rest of the week. I always hate to leave my friend though.

Thurs- was pretty typical...usually the challenge day of the week; especially if I go to bed late on wed night. Training newbies at work and playing catch up the rest of the time. I'm definitely not cut out for this 8 hours behind a desk gig. Man I take a TON of breaks...I just catch myself walking around the building. Thankful to have such an awesome boss though.

I feel the chill slipping through..Fall is trying to make its presence know.

Went to Jenny's after work and had some much needed fun! Enjoyed a great dinner -sloppy joe's (it doesn't take much to make me happy) and catching up. Would have stayed longer but had to go to work tomorrow AM. Boo for being an adult. LOL

Fri- pretty tired this morning, but got up in enough time to make coffee :) mmm. Day overall was pretty slow, but thankfully not stressful. The rain made it dreary outside and that always makes me want to be snuggled in my bed with a book or napping. Man do I miss nap times. LoL. Oh and it went from being 75 degrees to about 55-60 in 3 hours. Not cool. Forgot my lunch Again and had to eat popcorn I found in my desk. Afternoon was dragging and then I got the sweetest FB notification from my friend Jenny saying she loved me <3. Man I love her!! My friends rock! I don't know what I'd do without them. Went to her house again after work and got to spend some girl time after she fed me left overs :) yum-o. Saw Brian briefly in passing but now I'm off to bed. Have to be up at 7am for marriage prep class... well, big gulps...we'll see how it goes.
EMC aka Spidey
(Courtesy of Jenny aka Punkin)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

weekend recap and new life

Huge recap:

I had such a GREAT week and weekend! I love my friends! I'm so happy that God blessed me with such fabulous friends & family. everyone has their own little place in my heart!

I felt refreshed Sat AM after getting to hang out with an old 'friend' on Fri evening. It's amazing how an individual can make you feel so alive. I listen to songs I've heard hundreds of times and actually 'hear' and 'feel' the song like its brand new.

The time change on Sat didn't do much for me. Instead of gaining an extra hour of sleep I decided to watch Avatar with Brian. Good movie, but very long. What made the evening even better is that I convinced him to help me put the guest mattress on the couch. Comfy as chit and we just fell asleep watching the movie :) its fun being a kid every now and then :)

Sunday ended up being an errand day with Brian. We always seem to spend too much money when we hang out. Its cheaper to be apart. I also realized I never seem to find time to relax, but I think even if I did I wouldn't know what to do with it.

Monday I breezed through work and planned on an early night, but was enticed to go to dinner with great friends. Brian needed football gear as well so we headed to Plano Sports then Gloria's for some yum-o food!. Definitely felt weird to go out on a Mon -man that makes me sound old. Afterwards, Brian had to 'repay' some debt so it was a late night, but a great night ;) ...and I slept like a champ

Today was hectic with meetings but I managed. My friends 'The Sippl's' welcomed their first child today at 2pm...Hunter Lewis. I was antsy to leave work and meet them...4:30 rolled around and I was gone. Got to the hospital and met hunter sleeping. He warmed my heart and made me smile. Too cute! ...new life certainly makes ya think about your own (well for me anyways) so much to ponder and with my mind racing I attempt to sleep...

Sunday, November 7, 2010

bed time thoughts

Another venue for my thoughts.
Can't sleep yet and this is what was swimming around.

Do you think everyone wants to make an impact on the world? Or just a few? And is it inherent or coincidental?

Deep, huh?

Now for another attempt at shut eye. Goodnight!