Wednesday, October 19, 2011


"It’s easy to look at people and make quick judgments about them, their present and their past, but you’d be amazed at the pain and tears a single smile hides. What a person shows to the world is only one tiny facet of the iceberg hidden from sight. And more often then not, it’s lined with cracks and scars that go all the way to the foundation of their soul".

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

i just wanted...

i just wanted you to listen ... i wanted more than just being heard..listen to the message instead of dwelling on mere words....

i just wanted...

i just wanted you to listen

Thursday, July 21, 2011


Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I’m reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just wont let me forget

In this life
I know what I’ve been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

I’m forgiven
And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven

My mistakes are running through my mind
And I’ll relive my days, in the middle of the night
When I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry

When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
I rest on the idea that i'll be forgiven

call me

Questions fade when you invade
You chase all my fears away
With your love in my atmosphere
All confusion disappears

And nothing but your truth remains

Questions fade, you remain
You are color on a page of white, bright
Like eyes beneath black lights
Like a glowing city on the plains, you call
My name

right or wrong

right or wrong i'll be with you
i'll do what you ask me to
for i believe that i belong
by your side for right or wrong
right or wrong it's got to be
always you and always me
won't you take me along
to be with you right or wrong
if it's wrong for me to love you
it can't be wrong for me to care
if you should say you love me
my life with you i'll share
right or wrong day by day
all m love -all the way
i believe that i belong
by your side for right or wrong

here i am

somewhere in between all this mess..somewhere in between a nothing...
took such a long. long....time to complete the process
when we dare to care...we dare to LOVE

don't you want to stay here a little while
don't you want to hold each other tight?
don't you want to fall asleep with me tonight?

we can make forever feel this way

i don't just want to make love, i want to make love LAST

when you're up this's a sad goodbye-

Friday, June 24, 2011

I'm trying

When it's over, I go numb
And lose the feeling for a while
All the pictures make me wonder
If I'll ever find that smile
I'm a sailboat tossed by wind and waves
And somehow I'm staying afloat
I'm a memory on you, but you'll forget me

And this is my last try
To make it through
And you won't say a word
I'm surprised you haven't heard
I'm trying not to love you

And I wonder if this cycle of mine
Will ever end
And I wonder why growing closer to love
Is starting all over again
I'm a regret, you can try to avoid me
It hurts to know I'm around
I'm a story and I don't know the ending
I worry about that now

I'm surprised I haven't said I love you, I'm trying not to love you...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Love can hurt. Sometimes a simple phrase turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. Its a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. #hurt

Monday, April 4, 2011

Inner struggle

 People often ask, "What's wrong with my relationship?" or "Why are relationships so hard?" There are several good answers, but let's first look at the questions and why they are even posed.

 When people wonder why their relationship is so difficult, the underlying assumption is that it shouldn't be. There is an implied belief and expectation that a good relationship should come naturally, easily. This is a remnant of the myth of romantic love and its subsequent cultural conditions that "love is the answer" to all our life's struggles.

There seems to be a collective fantasy that "when the right person comes along", we will join together in perfect harmony and move through life together like paired ice skaters -- flowing flawlessly, effortlessly. Then when we stumble (have conflict) we worry, "What's wrong" Why is this so hard?"

 Maybe the answer is, "There's nothing wrong. By their very nature relationships will be difficult, and sometimes very difficult." Here's why.

 First, most of us desire relationships that are satisfying and meaningful before we have even developed a good relationship with ourselves. We somehow expect to be able to connect deeply with another person before we have connected even superficially with ourselves.

 Culturally, self-reflection and exploration are seen as indulgent or wasteful, yet we are pressed to enter into emotionally committed relationships before we've given ourselves a chance to explore who we are, what we believe and feel at our cores, what our strengths and frailties may be. Often relationship struggles are the outer reflection of our inner struggle to find and define self.

 Secondly, relationships are hard because they require balancing two basic and conflicting human drives: the need to be a separate, autonomous self (and the individual freedom this implies) with the need to be connected with other (and the compromise/negotiation this requires).

Many relationship issues revolve around this basic dilemma, we may err on the side of being too separate (distanced emotionally or physically) or of being too close (emotionally fused, Siamese-twin style). Finding and maintaining our own natural rhythm and movement in this "dance of relationship" is no easy task, and may require a lifetime to master.

Doesn't this all point to the reality of the inherent difficulty of relationships? Imagine if we began to anticipate and even embrace these struggles as the process by which we come to deeply know ourselves and others, to develop and mature toward our fullest capacities. What a shift in perspective!

Think of it this way: We are born into the river of life each in our own boat. You can't get into my boat and have your own life, and I can't get in your boat and have my life. Trouble arises when you try to climb in my boat or expect me to climb in yours. We each have to struggle to learn to paddle our own boats, and to negotiate the different currents of the river.

Sometimes, you may prefer to paddle by the bank while I prefer the middle, or you may be ready to go farther and faster before I am. But sometimes -- perhaps even often as the years go by -- we may find ourselves choosing to paddle close together, in a synchronized pace, toward a mutual destination.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


I flirt with the world
it steals my love for you
My fear grips my faith
and I am left unmoved

Your gaze stops my heart
Your voice fills the dark
Your love is a spark that lights this life
So we rise
Out of the depths You cry
Come and be satisfied

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Little sleep = cranky Ern. Watch out peeps I'm in a foul mood.

Friday, January 28, 2011

“What is the quality of your intent?

Certain people have a way of saying things that shake us at the core. Even when the words do not seem harsh or offensive, the impact is shattering. What we could be experiencing is the intent behind the words. When we intend to do good, we do. When we intend to do harm, it happens. What each of us must come to realize is that our intent always comes through. We cannot sugarcoat the feelings in our heart of hearts. The emotion is the energy that motivates. We cannot ignore what we really want to create. We should be honest and do it the way we feel it. What we owe to ourselves and everyone around is to examine the reasons of our true intent.

My intent will be evident in the results."

Monday, January 24, 2011


Everyone's the same by Innerparty System
Bigger Stronger by Coldplay
Ace of Spades by Motorhead
Fascination Street by The Cure
Behind the Wheel by Depeche Mode
Climbing the Walls by Radiohead
High Voltage by Eagles of Death Metal
Least You Can Do by Phil Collins
Who are you when I'm not Looking by Blake Shelton

Thursday, January 13, 2011

good country song

Don't you wanna stay...

I really hate to let this moment go,
touching your skin and your hair falling slow,
when your goodbye kiss, feels like this,

Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
Don't you wanna hold each other tight?
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don't you wanna stay here a little while?
We can make forever feel this way,
Don't you wanna stay?

Let's take it slow I don't want to move too fast,
I don't wanna just make love, I wanna make love last,
When your on this high, its a sad goodbye

Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson

plant a seed

Right love at the wrong time?

They say if you love someone, you should learn to let them go.
How ironic-
How can you let go of someone you're still so much in love with?
I guess understanding and selflessness is the key to such love.
An unconditional love.

And even if somewhere down the road that heart of yours doesn't see that you belong with me then I can only hope that my loving you opened the door to your new love.

In life, the decision of letting someone go doesn't end up right there. It seems only time can heal the battle in your heart. Sooner or later,our paths will cross again. But what if it
doesn't? Then one could only hope you've given and received enough love to carry you through this life.

Having faith? When you are hoping, it doesn't always necessarily
include faith. But when you are having faith, you are actually hoping at the
same time.

Even if you're gone. I'll still believe in us together.

I can only hope that what I've done is
plant a "seed of love" in the other person's heart.
I could then believe that love never really fails after all.

A little time is all we need.
The "seed of love" that we have left doesn't suddenly spring-up into a tree.
It's nurtured through time. And when the right time comes, it will return to
you in a manner you wouldn't have imagined.

the wrong time? Maybe we've only just begun. Maybe the best is yet to come.

"Letting go is not always easy."
In fact it can break you and cause you a lot of pain.
But letting go is not really the end of love; it is only the beginning of a greater love.
A love that time alone can understand.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


Temptation is a little like puddles on the sidewalk. You can walk carefully to avoid them, or you can jump right in! Or sometimes, you're so busy paying attention to one puddle, you miss seeing another and you get wet even if you're trying not to.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier then ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why

'Cause the last time I was yours
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me your heart and I left it there to die

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call!
And I think about those summers, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side,
Realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

I miss your soft skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that August night,
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand
So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
I go back to december all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd back to december, turn around and make it alright

I go back to december, turn around and change my own mind...

i want you

I really want (to see) you!
I really want (to feel) you!
I really want (to breathe) you! ...To feel you in my soul.
I can't fight these demons... with you in control.

Monday, January 10, 2011


Letting go is just another way to say I'll always love you so. We have the
right love at the wrong time. Maybe that's God's way of letting us be selfless. To love beyond our control and without reciprocation. To love for the pure facet of love is selfless, unexplainable, undeniable and irrevocable. It can't be explained and can't be retracted, regardless of situation. Love freely and do so with all your heart. It's the best and worst feeling one can experience in this life. <3

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!

a friend had this posted -said it hangs as a plaque above his doorway  ---i want to model 2011 around this:
‎"In This House...We believe in living deeply, Laughing often and loving always. We believe we were brought together to support and care for each other. We believe that everyone's feelings count, And the uniqueness of each of us Strengthens all of us. We believe in the power of forgiveness to heal and the power of love to carry us through. We believe in one another, In this family, In this House..."